22 Feb 2008 History of the Middle East: In a Couple of Minutes
by Glenn Beck.
ANNOUNCER: And now the history of the Middle East in a couple of minutes. Chapter one.
BECK (voice-over): Around the turn of the century the Jews decided we need a homeland. What I`m looking for is a nice MLT, mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, and maybe, I don`t know, a homeland.
So they all started to begin gathering. The Zionists are coming to reclaim the homeland.
Palestinians, who aren`t really called Palestinians. They`re Syrians. They`re kind of wandering around, tending their flocks, walking around basically in the desert. Find themselves with a bunch of Jews there in the desert with them.
Would you like a nice MLT?
Meanwhile, back in Britain they`re starting to ask themselves, "Queenie baby, what do we do? All these Jews are here, and they`re going to be starting picking fights now with the Arabs, and the Arabs aren`t going to like it."
"I don`t know. Can`t we just split the land?"
Arabs don`t like the idea. "Wait a minute. Who are all these people coming in, trying to take all of our land?"
"We`re the Jews. And let me tell you something. You know what this place really needs, is a nice Jewish deli. Want some lox?"
Now, comes the U.N. The United Nations decides, "You know what? We`re going to split it all up. We`re going to give half of it to, quote unquote, `Palestine,` which is actually Syria, and the other part to the new Jewish homeland. That way everybody`s happy. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha."
Right.
On May 14, 1948, the Zionists declare their own state along with the United Nations. The next day the Palestinians, aided by the armies of Jordan, Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, and, whoa, Iraq -- got to love them -- launched a war to prevent Jewish independence and to secure control of all of the land.
Fortunately, in that war the Zionists not only managed to pull all the areas assigned to them by the United Nations but seize part of the land designated for the Palestinian state, as well. In other words, they kicked ass.
Here`s the thing everybody always leaves out of the history books. The other areas designated for the Palestinians by the United Nations were taken, not by the Israelis, but by Jordan and Egypt. Jordan annexed the West Bank, while Egypt said, "Hey, Gaza district, you`re ours. You`re ours."
But don`t worry, in the next episode we`re going to find out that neither Arab state allowed the Palestinians to form their own independent government in either of these areas. Ha, ha, ha. Those wacky Arabs. Ha, ha, ha.
ANNOUNCER: This has been the history of the Middle East in a couple of minutes on the GLENN BECK program.
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